Top Ten Ways Saddam Hussein Celebrated The Anniversary Of His Capture
10. Had a heartwarming reunion with the guy who deloused him.
9. Put his name in for that homeland security opening.
8. Ordered one of Carvel's delicious fudgy the goat cakes.
7. Rehearsed for his role as Fezziwig in prison production of "A Christmas Carol."
6. Same as every Monday: "CSI: Miami" and frozen pizza bagels.
5. Pampered his beard with VO5 Hot Oil Treatment.
4. Asked guards if he could stay up late to catch Ashanti on Letterman.
3. Counted his blessings that he ain't Bernard Kerik.
2. Waited 13 hours for visit from Uday and Qusay.
1. Compared notes with Martha on life in the joint.