32. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
33. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
34. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
35. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
36. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
37. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
38. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
39. Always flush the toilet three times.
40. Give him/her an allowance.
41. Listen to radio static.
42. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
43. Speak into a walkie-talkie in trucker's terms.
44. Divide the floor into an 8 X 8 grid. Arrange piles of laundry, books, pizza boxes, etc. on the glid and tell your roommate that youUve turned the room into a chess game and not to move any of the piles.
45. Cover one of the walls with polaroids of fire hydrants from all over the city. Tell your roommate that you think that you were a dog in a former life. Stare lovingly at the photos, and make frequent trips to the bathroom.
46. Get a small, battery-operated clock which ticks very loudly. Put it in a briefcase and put the briefcase next to your roommate's bed.
47. Expound upon the importance of good personal hygiene. Wear rubber gloves and a surgical mask in the room.
48. Eat an entire bag of cheese curls at once. When you are finished, see how many times you can make orange fingerprints from all of the cheese junk left on your fingers.
49. Come home from work with a bucket of plaster of paris. Paint a section of the ceiling with it, and plaster your roommate's underwear to the stuff. When your roommate comes in and comments, tell him/her, "Sorry, I was doing your laundry, and I sneezed."
50. Wear the most obnoxious orange hat that you can find. Convince you roommate and everybody else that if they do not wear an orange hat, they will be hit by stray bullets.
51. Point west at 3 AM every night and yell, "It came from that way."
52. Walk around in circles all the time. Complain that your turn signal is stuck.
53. Whenever your roommate is out, turn the volume on his stereo ALL THE WAY UP. When he turns on his stereo, complain hysterically about the noise and his lack of courtesy.
