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Military Jokes and Humor

Military Birth Control


After having their 11th child, a U.S. Marine and his wife decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger house on their housing allowance. So the Marine went to sick call and told the doctor that he and his wife didn't want anymore children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but due to cost-cutting, the base hospital no longer performed that procedure. The Marine could have it done off base, at his own expense, said the doctor, but it could be very expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Marine said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So, the man went home, lit the cherry bomb, and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works with most soldiers, some sailors, and a few airmen.

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