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Military Jokes and Humor

Airborne Soldier

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You might be an Airborne Soldier if...

The first thing you do in the morning is put in a dip

Your favorite beer is someone else's

Your cologne smells suspiciously like bug juice

You think a spit shine means to spit on your boots and wipe them on the back of your pant legs

Your kids wear a high and tight and stand at parade rest

You tell the arresting officer that you have just been alerted and you were speeding to work

When you have dinner guests in between paydays, you try to pass off a hamslice as canned ham

You use your spotter scope to pull surveillance at the pool or the Pope AFB air show

You would rather smoke a private then a Marlboro

Your hide site is cleaner than your room

You set up concertina wire around your house to keep trick or treaters away

You spend your free time thinking of ways you would destroy things if you were a terrorist

You never enter a bar without an E&R plan

You consider a "Recon" walking around the bar looking for chicks

You order a beer from the waitress by hollering "Nurse give me an IV"

You consider a six pack a well balanced breakfast

You say "Hooah" whether you understand or not

You creatively acquire things you need

Every sport you play has the word combat as part of its name

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