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Perhaps the first ship of the next class of carriers will be the USS Bill Clinton. It will boast the ability to steer a course straight down the middle, but will have a tendency to veer to the left or toward large sums of money. It will be fueled by an unending supply of testosterone, which perpetually replenishes itself. Its presence will always be marked by chaos and destruction, but there will never be enough evidence to prove that it was really there. Maintenance of this class will be a nightmare as items will constantly disappear from the aircraft and wardroom furniture will mysteriously vanish.

Its sister ship, the USS Hillary Rodham, will easily steer to the left or to the right, if you know what I mean. Keeping decklogs on this ship will be difficult, as there will be no knowledge of having been anywhere or having done anything. This ship will also run on testosterone but will require a much higher octane. This ship will be characterized by impulses to suddenly change homeports.

Contributed by BigTex