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Everybody knows how gung-ho marines are, and how they're always looking for things to volunteer for, right?

Well, a Marine sees a flyer that is advertising a project to cross a human male with a female gorilla. The flyer asks him to participate in the project for $500. The guy figures, okay, and he goes to the research facility where the experiment is going on.

He walks in, and the project director shows him the gorilla. The Marine thinks for a minute, then says, "okay, I've got three conditions: first, no kissing. I'm not gonna kiss that hairy beast; Second, I'm not gonna spend the night. I'm gonna do my thing and leave."

The director says that he has no problem with these two conditions. "So what's your final one?" he asks.

"Well, times are tough, and I don't have the $500. Do you think we could work out a payment plan?"