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One
day, four military recruiters were sitting in their joint recruiting office,
moaning about the lack of qualified recruits. They were far short of their
monthly goal, but the only prospects they had scored far too low on the
aptitude tests.
All four looked up as an old man in a white lab coat entered, carrying
a small metal box. He can't want to enlist, they all thought. He's way
too old.
The old scientist said, "I've been reading about your recruiting
problems, and I have the answer! I have discovered that the perfect military
recruit has an IQ of exactly between 110.8 and 135.7. The exact IQ, rounded
out to the nearest 10th of a decimal point determines exactly which military
job a person is best suited for. Additionally, I have invented a machine
which can actually increase a person's IQ to match a specified IQ within
this range."
If this works, it's fantastic, the four recruiters thought. They quickly
got on the phone and called some of the unqualified recruits, and asked
them to come down to the office to try a new method of qualifying.
The first unqualified recruit to show up belonged to the Marine recruiter.
The Recruiter told the scientist, "I'd like him to be qualified for
Infantry." The Scientist replied, "Okay, let's see, that's an
ideal IQ of 111.2" The Scientist made an adjustment to the Machine,
and hooked it up to the recruit's temples. The starting meter showed an
IQ of 87. The Scientist pushed a red button on top of the machine, and
POOF! The needle shot up to 111.2. They all watched in anticipation as
the recruit retook the qualification test. The results were perfect for
Infantry!
The next recruit to show up belonged to the Army Recruiter. "I'd
like him to be qualified for Airborne." The Scientist set his machine
at 115.3. The beginning needle showed 65, but as soon as the Scientist
pressed the red button, it jumped up to 115.3. The resultant test showed
him to be perfect for Airborne.
The next recruit to show up belonged to the Navy Recruiter. "I'd
like him to be qualified for Submarines." The Scientist set his machine
at 117.6. The beginning needle showed 69, but as soon as the Scientist
pressed the red button, it jumped up to 117.6. The resultant test showed
him to be perfect for Sub Duty.
Finally, the Air Force recruit showed up. When the Scientist hooked up
the machine, he frowned. The recruit's IQ showed 190. The Scientist said,
"This recruit's problem is that he's too intelligent for the Service.
In order to make him fit in, I'll have to decrease his IQ, and I've never
tried that before." "Please try it," begged the AF Recruiter,
who did not want to explain how the Army, Navy, and Marines were able
to recruit someone this day, and he had not.
"We'll make him a crew chief," said the Scientist. I'll set
the machine to lower his IQ to 125.1." But, when the Scientist hit
the button, the needle immediately traveled down to 25!
The Scientist ripped the hook-ups off the recruit's head, and screamed,
"Oh my God! How do you feel?"
The Recruit Replied, "I feel fine! My flaps are up, gear is down,
and I'm ready for final on three!"
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