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Military Jokes and Humor

SPECIAL FORCES LAWS OF COMBAT

By Rod Powers, About.com

You are not supermen! (Recent SF graduates take note)

Suppressive fire-won't

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid

Don't look conspicuous

When in doubt, empty the magazine

Never forget your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going well it is an ambush

No plan survives the first contact intact

All five second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds

Try to look unimportant, because the bad guys may be low on ammo.

If you are in front of your position, the artillery will fall short

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack

The important things are always simple

The simple things are always hard

The easy way is always mined

If your are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat

When you have secured an area do not forget to tell the enemy

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection

Incoming fire has the right of way

If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU

Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men = 49 cases

Body Count Math: 3 guerrillas + 1 probable + 2 pigs = 37 enemy KIA

Friendly fire isn't

Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately

Anything you do can get you shot-including doing nothing

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Tracers work both ways

The only thing more accurate than in coming fire is incoming friendly fire

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share to take

When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they are right

Professional soldiers are predictable , but the world is full of amateurs

Murphy is a Special Forces Soldier

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