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The
Navy and the Air Force decided to have a canoe race on the Potomac River.
Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance before
the race. On the big day, the Navy won by a mile. Afterwards, the Air
Force team became very discouraged and depressed. The officers of the
Air Force team decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to
be found.
A "Metrics
Team," made up of senior officers was formed to investigate and recommend
appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the Navy had 8 seamen rowing
and 1 officer steering, while the Air Force had 1 airman rowing and 8
officers and NCOs steering.
So the senior officers of the Air Force team hired a consulting
company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too
many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.
To prevent losing to the Navy again the next year, the Air Force
Chief of Staff made historic and sweeping changes: the rowing team's organizational
structure was totally realigned to 4 steering officers, 3 area steering
superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering NCO.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give
the 1 airman rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was
called the "Air Force Rowing Team Quality Program", with meetings,
dinners, and a three-day pass for the rower. "We must give the rower
empowerment and enrichment through this quality program."
The next year the Navy won by 2 miles.
Humiliated, the Air Force leadership gave a letter of reprimand
to the rower for poor performance. Initiated a $4 billion program for
development of a new joint-service canoe, blamed the loss on a design
defect in the paddles, and issued career continuation bonuses and leather
rowing jackets to the beleaguered steering officers in the hopes they
would stay for next year's race.
Meanwhile, the Army team is still trying to figure out why the
oars keep making divots in the grass when they're rowing.
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