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We've all heard the story of that officer who made the General so mad that the General threatened to send him to operate a one-man radar station at the North Pole. Well, I've met such an officer. Captain Jim Ellis of the United States Air Force was awarded this assignment after a particularly nasty practical joke (involving green jello and the General's swimming pool) backfired.

The Site was so remote, that Captain Ellis was told he would probably have no company for the entire year he would be there. The closest humans, he was told, was a "very small" Marine encampment about 50 miles away.

After about three months of absolutely no human contact, Captain Ellis heard a loud knock on the door to his pre-fab hut. He opened the door, and saw the biggest, roughest looking Marine he had ever seen in his life! In a deep, rough voice, the Marine introduced himself as Major Simmons from the Marine encampment "nearby."

The major said, "I know how lonely it is up here, and I'd like to invite you over to the Marine encampment for a party this Friday."

Captain Ellis said, "Great! It really is lonely here! And I've heard that the Marines throw really great parties!"

The Major said, "Okay then. I have to warn you, however, there will probably be some drinking going on at this party."

"Heck," the Captain replied, "I'm a drinker from way back. I can probably drink most Marines under the table."

"Okay," said the Major, "but I have to warn you. There will probably be a fight or two breaking out before the party is over."

"No Problem," the Air Force Captain replied. "I know the Marines are tough, but I think I can hold my own."

"Okay," said the Major, "But I should warn you, I wouldn't be surprised if there turns out to be a little wild sex going on."

"Count me in!" Said the Captain, "I haven't even thought of sex for the past two months! What should I wear to the party?"

"Wear anything you'd like," said the Major. It's just going to be you and me.


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