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The young second lieutenant approached the crusty old first sergeant and asked him about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias.

"Well, LT, it's history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you're valuable BUT malleable. The silver bar of a first lieutenant represents value, but less malleable. When you make captain, you're twice as valuable so we give you two silver bars.

"As a colonel, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As a general, you're obviously a star. That answer your question, LT?"

"Yeah, but what about major and lieutenant colonel?"

"Now, son, that goes waaaaaay back in history. Back to the Garden of Eden even. You see, we've always covered our pricks with leaves . . ."

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