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The
following are actual lines out of Air Force Officer Efficiency Reports
or OER's (performance appraisals):
- Not the
sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into
the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A room
temperature IQ.
- Got a
full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
- A gross
ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
- A photographic
memory but with the lens cover glued on.
- A prime
candidate for natural de-selection.
- Bright
as Alaska in December.
- One-celled
organisms out score him in IQ tests.
- Donated
his body to science before he was done using it.
- Fell out
of the family tree.
- Gates
are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- Has two
brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- He's so
dense, light bends around him.
- If brains
were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
- If he
were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
- If you
stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
- It's hard
to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- One neuron
short of a synapse.
- Some drink
from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
- Was left
on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
- Wheel
is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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