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Norfolk Local Area Information Briefing
 
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FOR (UN)OFFICIAL USE ONLY
Virginia, Norfolk

1. Background Information. Norfolk (Naah-fuk) is one if the cities in the area of Virginia known as Hampton Roads, or Tidewater. This area is home to more than 20% of the entire United States Navy who, along with dogs, are expected to stay off the grass. English is the common language, and is spoken everywhere except in the 7-Eleven stores.

Norfolk's history dates back to the early 17th century, when STGSN Long and Captain John Smith sailed up the Elizabeth River to found Jamestown.

The Tidewater area boasts many varied and interesting things to do. Go to the beach and don't play volleyball; witness a crime in Ocean View; visit the stunning Elizabeth River's famous southern branch, which has been noted as the third most polluted river in the United States.

Other cities in the Tidewater area include Hampton, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, and Portsmouth.

Virginia Beach is a city named after a waterfront area where you can't frisbees. They made a monument from a pile of garbage.

Hampton is too far, Chesapeake is too expensive, and Portsmouth is a dump.

The Tidewater area has, among its inhabitants, beings known as "wives" (rhymes with lives). Many of these wonderful creatures can be located along the pier as the ship pulls in. Still others can be found at local nightclubs shortly after battle groups depart the area. The term comes from the Latin "Wypussis" or "wet spot".

The unit of currency is the U.S. dollar, which has a monetary value of approximately 38 cents. Be sure to wear your uniform on liberty here; chicks dig it, and your money's no good!

2. Clubs and Bars. Especially busy following the departures of naval ships, Norfolk boasts a lively nightlife.

3. Restaurants. Local cuisine includes fish and chicken.

4. Hotels. Government vehicles are _not_ recommended.

5. Athletics. Fighting traffic is big sport in the community, and the opportunity for dodging bullets is available in certain parts of town.

6. Beaches. Don't throw frisbees, consume beverages (of any kind), or change clothes in public restrooms. Just have fun.

7. Churches. All denominations are practiced, from Baptist to Budweiser.

8. Transportation. Transportation is available on a large scale, particularly along Little Creek Road or Military Highway. Financing is available for E-1 and up.

Traffic moves on the right in Norfolk, except between the hours of 0600 and 0800, 1500 and 1800, when it doesn't move at all.

Taxi and bus service is available.

9. Tours. Sea tours are available, contact your detailer for more information.

10. Shopping. The best buys, by city, are considered to be as follows:


Norfolk - uniform items, gasoline at "Dodge's Store".
Virginia Beach - Concert tickets.
Hampton - Bus ticket anywhere.
Portsmouth - Bail.

11. Miscellaneous information. Drug use/sales are serious offenses in Norfolk. There is no Status of Forces Agreement. Certain women in the red light district have Adam's Apples.

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