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13. Just tryin' to impress the chicks.

12. NATO strategists were loathe to open maps of the area because refolding them can be difficult and annoying.

11. "Kosovo?! We though you said KOKOMO!"

10. Bombardier still pissed off about his Yugo.

9. Chinese embassy "just too shiny to ignore."

8. Pilot's ugly little secret: never COULD hit those womprats back home in Beggar's Canyon.

7. Totally hammered after losing a game of "quarters" to Boris Yeltsin.

6. Canadian navigator busy extolling virtues of Celine Dion.

5. Pilot playing Kosovo bingo needed B5, not G2.

4. Forgot to adjust for weight of Slim Pickens.

3. Male pilots refused to stop and ask for directions.

2. General Magoo has no comment.

1. NATO headquarters dinner order for "take out Chinese" was grossly misunderstood.