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Military Jokes & Humor
Murphy's Rules of Combat
 
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  • Friendly fire - isn't.
  • Recoilless rifles - aren't.
  • Suppressive fires - won't.
  • You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
  • A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  • If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
  • Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
  • If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
  • If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
  • Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
  • Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
  • If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
  • The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
  • The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. & when you're not.
  • No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
  • There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
  • Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.
  • There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
  • A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.



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