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The
U.S. Navy answers the question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Naval Education and Training Command (NAVEDTRA): The purpose is
to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing
should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo
chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety observer.
Bureau of Naval Personnel (BUPERS): Due to the needs of the Navy,
chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This
will be 3-year unaccompanied tour and we promise to give the chicken a
good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do
one road-crossing during its career, and this will not affect its opportunities
for future promotion.
Naval Air Warfare Center (NAWC): This event will need confirmation;
we need to repeat it using varied chicken breeds, road types, and weather
conditions to confirm whether it can actually happen within the parameters
specified for chickens and the remote possibility that they might cross
thruways designated by some as "roads."
Commander-in-Chief, U.S. Naval Forces, Europe (CINCUSNAVEUR): The
purpose is not important. What is important is that the chicken remained
under the OPCON of COMSIXTHFLEET and did not CHOP to the theater on the
other side of the road. Without Chopping, the chicken was able to achieve
a seamless road-crossing with near perfect, real-time in-transit visibility.
Naval Intelligence: What chicken?
Naval Air Systems Command (NAVAIRSYSCOM): The chicken was instructed
to hold short of the road. This road incursion incident was reported in
a Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please re-emphasize
that chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.
Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command (SPAWARSYSCOM): The "stovepipe"
chickens of today will be replaced with a multi-function, supported, affordable,
integrated and interoperable world-class chicken to warriors and supporting
elements, enabling them to dominate the roads of today and tomorrow, as
we move "Forward...From the Sea." Comptroller holds and corporate
taxes, however, will require delay fielding for two years, unless Congressional
plus-ups are approved.
NAVSEASYSCOM's Chicken Systems Program Office (PMS400CSPO): In
a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking
its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. The CSPO
helped the chicken change to continue meeting its mission. However, the
actual crossing of the road has not occurred due to the number of action
items still open from the meeting.
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