Hitler's Mein Kampf to the library. "What a wimp."
apartment in town. Remember to take down and save Charlie Manson's poster.
"Helter Skelter.... OK, there are a few good Americans."
subscription to Terrorist Monthly, Islamic edition. "That Soldier
of Fortune rag is for wussies."
my operatives (in secure channels) to give up that 'purple dinosaur'
thing in America, it isn't subverting the country as I had planned.
$11 million in life insurance policies, with American Casualties, on
2 of my wives. Tell them I'm going camping.
to give family my new P. O. box. (to forward my allowance) Being an
unemployed playboy terrorist can be a tough life.
in my magic carpet for a Honda Accord. Those Japanese DO make a good
set o' wheels!
- Hold yard
sale. Available: 4 AK-47 assault rifles in good condition. 400 lbs of
Ammonium nitrate fertilizer. (It was for the lawn) Blueprints for Bangor
- Burn that
'bachelor party' video featuring Saddam's ugly half-sister.
- Buy a
Castro Halloween mask early, so I can sneak across the border. Nobody
will be looking for HIM here. As a backup, I could use a Jesse Jackson
costume and pretend I was 'negotiating' with the Taliban!
- Look up
and save Johnnie Cochran's phone number just in case I DO get caught.......
- And pray
to Allah that I don't get Yugoslav Ex-President Slobodan Milosevic as
a cell-mate. I'm told he doesn't like Muslims!
© J. Patterson. Used With Permission