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You rush up the stairs. At the top of the third floor landing is a door leading into a large squad bay. Each wall is covered by a long line of gray, metal lockers. In front of each locker is a metal bed with a bare mattress. Folded neatly at the foot of each bed are green blankets on top of white sheets. Stenciled on the blankets in large black letters are the words "Property of U.S. Military." In front of each bed is a wooden foot locker, painted in that shade you've come to know as "puke-green."

You move down the bay and stand in front of an empty bunk. Everyone is standing at attention, panting from the mad dash up the stairs. As you stand there, you mentally beat yourself up. The first day in boot camp, and you're already goofing up!.

Suddenly, Staff Sergeant Fear enters the bay. He walks straight to where you are standing.

"You got up here late, Double-Crap! Why did it take you a whole three minutes to get up a lousy three flights of stairs?"

"I'm sorry, Drill Sergeant. It was my bag. I...."

"Your bag? What's the matter? Is the bag too heavy? What the Hell do you have in that bag? I understand you've got some purple underwear! Is your purple underwear too heavy?"

"No Drill Sergeant! It was just that...."

"Let's see, shall we?" Staff Sergeant Fear begins taking items out of your bag.

We got jeans here. Those aren't very heavy. A pair of dirty socks. Whew! What a stink! You're stinking up my bay, Double-Crap!"

After the bag is empty, Staff Sergeant Fear strides up to you. "Look at the mess your crap has made of my bay, Double-Crap! You a litter bug, Double-Crap? You like to make messes?"

"No Drill Sergeant!"

"Well, if you don't like to make messes, then you must like to clean them up!"

Luckily, before you can answer, the recruit standing in front of the bunk next to you smiles. Staff Sergeant Fear immediately moves to him.

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Above Photo Courtesy of United States Navy