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As you grab hold of his bottom lip, you think to yourself, "Boy, am I ever glad I got my yellow belt through that mail order Tae Kwon Do course."

Unfortunately, three seconds later, you discover that the big kid got his blue belt through the same course, as he reaches into your nostrils and grabs hold of your tongue.

The big kid stomps on your big toe, and you respond by twisting his little finger backward until it touches his elbow. The big kid then tries to throw you over his hip, but you grab on tight to his upper lip, and you both tumble into the gutter.

While you are rolling in the gutter, yelling and screaming, you suddenly roll into a solid object. The solid object says, "Ahem...."

You look up and see the biggest, meanest looking cop you've ever seen.

He looks down at the mess at his feet and says, "You boys are in a heap of trouble."

Before you know it, you're handcuffed and transported to the nearest police station.

Six hours later, an exasperated Sergeant Gooddeal arrives. He's beginning to wish he had accepted that assignment to Wake Island, instead of becoming a recruiter.

The good news is that he's good friends with the local prosecutor, and because nobody got hurt, he was able to get the charges dropped.

The bad news is you missed the flight, and you'll have to go home and wait until he can arrange another shipping out date.

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