Military Jokes and Humor
Jokes, humorous stories, and funny photos about the United States Military, including jokes and humor about the United States Army, Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard.
The Delta Force Test
Are you ready for the final test?........
Are you ready for the final test?........
45 Reasons to Re-Enlist
If this won't keep you in the military, nothing will...
If this won't keep you in the military, nothing will...
Afghanistan Christmas Carol
T'was the night before Christmas...
T'was the night before Christmas...
Air Force Vs. the Army
I'll drink to that.
I'll drink to that.
Airborne Ranger
Are they really God?
Are they really God?
Airplanes Vs. Women
Why Pilots Prefer Airplanes Over Women….
Why Pilots Prefer Airplanes Over Women….
Anaconda Attacks
What to do if you are attacked by an anaconda in the Amazon Jungle...
What to do if you are attacked by an anaconda in the Amazon Jungle...
ASVAB Scores
You can tell a lot from the ASVAB score...
You can tell a lot from the ASVAB score...
Basic Training
The funniest thing happened while attending boot camp...
The funniest thing happened while attending boot camp...
bin Laden at the Pearly Gate
He didn't think it would turn out this way...
He didn't think it would turn out this way...
bin Laden's "To Do" List
A list of things bin Laden wishes to get accomplished.
A list of things bin Laden wishes to get accomplished.
Bin Laden/Taliban Riddles
A selection of riddles about the Taliban and Bin Laden.
A selection of riddles about the Taliban and Bin Laden.
Birth Control
New method of birth control for members of the Armed Forces.
New method of birth control for members of the Armed Forces.
Bravery
Which service has the bravest enlisted folks?
Which service has the bravest enlisted folks?
British Officer Fitness Reports Statement
You gotta love them Brits.
You gotta love them Brits.
Building an NCO
How to build an NCO.
How to build an NCO.
Camouflage Wear Policies
Camouflage uniform wear policies of the military services.
Camouflage uniform wear policies of the military services.
Captured Cows
What to do with captured cows...
What to do with captured cows...
Career Field Management
Career Field Management policies of the military services.
Career Field Management policies of the military services.
Combat for Dummies
A few common sense rules for combat….
A few common sense rules for combat….
Compromise
Making the best of a bad situation...
Making the best of a bad situation...
Dating
A D.I.'s Rules for Dating his Daughter.
A D.I.'s Rules for Dating his Daughter.
Dear China
A letter to China from the people of the United States.
A letter to China from the people of the United States.
Decorations & Awards Standards
Decoration & Award standards for the military services.
Decoration & Award standards for the military services.
Definition of "Colonel"
What does "Colonel" really mean?.....
What does "Colonel" really mean?.....
Deploying Vowels to Bosnia
A necessary National Policy....
A necessary National Policy....
DOD Super Computer
The Department of Defense Super-Computer which can solve any military problem...
The Department of Defense Super-Computer which can solve any military problem...
Duty Hours
Duty hour standards for the military services.
Duty hour standards for the military services.
Evolution
The real evolution of mankind.
The real evolution of mankind.
Expectations
Careful what the recruiter promises you...
Careful what the recruiter promises you...
Favorite Song
General Grant's favorite songs.
General Grant's favorite songs.
Fright Show
The four scariest things in the Military.
The four scariest things in the Military.
Getting in Shape for Basic Training
I'm often asked about the best way to exercise in order to get into shape for basic training...
I'm often asked about the best way to exercise in order to get into shape for basic training...
Good Night
Good night actually means "Shut Up."
Good night actually means "Shut Up."
Haircut Standards
Haircut standards of the military services.
Haircut standards of the military services.
Headlines - Blimp Downs Chinese Jets
Well, it *might* be true.....
Well, it *might* be true.....
Hitler and the Pig
Phrasing is everything....
Phrasing is everything....
How the Military Determines Unit Staffing
Ever wonder how the military determines which job positions will be assigned to a unit?
Ever wonder how the military determines which job positions will be assigned to a unit?
How to Annoy your Mil Roommate
List of ways to drive your barracks roommate right up the wall.
List of ways to drive your barracks roommate right up the wall.
Intelligence Analyst Resignation
A military intelligence analyst resigns...
A military intelligence analyst resigns...
Interpreting Performance Reports
What those comments on performance reports really mean...
What those comments on performance reports really mean...
Iraq Jokes
A handful of short Iraq Riddles.
A handful of short Iraq Riddles.
Joint Task Force
There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it...
There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it...
K-9 Dog Veteran
Talking dog for $20.00?.....
Talking dog for $20.00?.....
Key to my Heart
It's the little things that count.....
It's the little things that count.....
Kuwait
Equal Rights?
Equal Rights?
Language Barrier
How the Services communicate.
How the Services communicate.
Last Great Act of Defiance
How to deal with headhunters...
How to deal with headhunters...
Leave & Liberty Standards
Leave & liberty standards of the military services.
Leave & liberty standards of the military services.
Lessons of a Vietnam Helicopter Crewman
Rules to live by in flight combat.
Rules to live by in flight combat.
Lincoln and McClellan
Disagreement between President Lincoln and General McClellan...
Disagreement between President Lincoln and General McClellan...
Lincoln's Prayer
Lincoln and Davis....
Lincoln and Davis....
Maneuvers
A walk through the desert.
A walk through the desert.
Meal Standards
Meal & ration standards of the military services.
Meal & ration standards of the military services.
Memo From Bin Laden
Memo from Bin Laden to his "Cavemates."
Memo from Bin Laden to his "Cavemates."
MIL-SPECs
So, where do those Military Specifications really come from?
So, where do those Military Specifications really come from?
Military Academy Jokes
A couple of dozen short Military Academy jokes.
A couple of dozen short Military Academy jokes.
Military Jokes and Humor – Old Guys
Jokes, humor, and funny stories about the Military. Old Guys
Jokes, humor, and funny stories about the Military. Old Guys
Military Prayer
A little officer bashing.....
A little officer bashing.....
Military Protocol
Protocol standards of the military services.
Protocol standards of the military services.
Military Rules
Each of the branches have their own rules of conduct and behavior.
Each of the branches have their own rules of conduct and behavior.
Military Terminology
Watch that latest military blockbuster movie, but you're at a loss as to some of the military terms they used? Here's a basic primer.
Watch that latest military blockbuster movie, but you're at a loss as to some of the military terms they used? Here's a basic primer.
Mother's Request
Lincoln's reply to a Mother's demand...
Lincoln's reply to a Mother's demand...
Murphy's Rules of Combat
What can go wrong, will.
What can go wrong, will.
National Guard Glossary
Definitions from the Weekend Warriors...
Definitions from the Weekend Warriors...
NATO Bombing
13 Excuses NATO uses to justify bombing the wrong target...
13 Excuses NATO uses to justify bombing the wrong target...
NCOs and Officers
A different way of looking at things...
A different way of looking at things...
New Enlistment Oaths
New oaths of enlistment for members of the United States Military…
New oaths of enlistment for members of the United States Military…
New Enlistment Oaths
Raise your right hand, and repeat after me.
Raise your right hand, and repeat after me.
New Name
With the advent of the fighting in Afghanistan, U.S. G.I.'s have a new name.
With the advent of the fighting in Afghanistan, U.S. G.I.'s have a new name.
Officer Insignia
A simple explanation of the origin of officer rank insignia...
A simple explanation of the origin of officer rank insignia...
Officer Promotions
The real-deal common sense test.
The real-deal common sense test.
Orders to Troops in Iraq
Recent orders to military troops deployed to Iraq…
Recent orders to military troops deployed to Iraq…
Photo of the Week
Military photos with humorous captions provided by our readers.
Military photos with humorous captions provided by our readers.
Pilot Wisdom
Quotes and bits of wisdom from military pilots…
Quotes and bits of wisdom from military pilots…
Playing Games
Good bet.
Good bet.
Playing Golf
That's gratitude, for ya....
That's gratitude, for ya....
Promotion to NCO
You can take the boy out of the country, but...
You can take the boy out of the country, but...
Purpose
It's important that every military mission have a specific purpose...
It's important that every military mission have a specific purpose...
Real Sergeants
Do real sergeants eat privates?
Do real sergeants eat privates?
Remote Assignment
You wouldn't want to be stationed there.
You wouldn't want to be stationed there.
Saddam
He who laughs last...
He who laughs last...
Saddam’s Capture Anniversary
Top 10 ways Saddam celebrated the anniversary of his capture…
Top 10 ways Saddam celebrated the anniversary of his capture…
Saving the Cavalry
I guess that you never heard how my Great Great Great Half Uncle Herman once saved an entire company of US cavalry from marauding indians...
I guess that you never heard how my Great Great Great Half Uncle Herman once saved an entire company of US cavalry from marauding indians...
Sniper
Lousy shot.......
Lousy shot.......
Soldier, Sailor, & Airman
Interservice Rivalry at its best.
Interservice Rivalry at its best.
Special Ops
Snake Eaters!
Snake Eaters!
Stupid Questions
Stupid questions get good answers.
Stupid questions get good answers.
TDY Procedures
Due to the budget cut, new TDY procedures are in effect.
Due to the budget cut, new TDY procedures are in effect.
Technology
You know your unit is too advanced when.....
You know your unit is too advanced when.....
Ten Ways to Make Basic Training Tougher
Are you one of those who think today's military basic training is too easy? Here's 10 ways to make it harder.
Are you one of those who think today's military basic training is too easy? Here's 10 ways to make it harder.
The Airman & Marine
An Air Force person and a Marine in a bar...
An Air Force person and a Marine in a bar...
The General's Valet
The retired general asked his former aid to come work for him...
The retired general asked his former aid to come work for him...
The Military Computer
The perfect enlisted computer...
The perfect enlisted computer...
The Real Difference in Rank
And don't let anyone tell you different.
And don't let anyone tell you different.
The Snake Theory
The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations.
The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations.
Too Many
A Russian Private, Cuban Private, American Private, and American Colonel are riding on a train....
A Russian Private, Cuban Private, American Private, and American Colonel are riding on a train....
Too Old to Fight
You're never too old to fight....
You're never too old to fight....
Too Smart
Recruiting problems.
Recruiting problems.
VA Home Loan
A lawyer tries to arrange for a VA home loan for his client...
A lawyer tries to arrange for a VA home loan for his client...
Veteran's Bar
You can't beat the prices in this bar...
You can't beat the prices in this bar...
Veterans Day
Seen any good movies lately?
Seen any good movies lately?
War Between Iraq and Ireland
Ireland declares war on Iraq.....
Ireland declares war on Iraq.....
War is Hell
....but maybe it's not Hell for everyone.
....but maybe it's not Hell for everyone.
What Time is It?
Well, it depends, actually…..
Well, it depends, actually…..
Who's Crazier?
Watch out, Bin Laden.....We may just be crazier than you are!
Watch out, Bin Laden.....We may just be crazier than you are!
Word/Phrase Origin
The humorous origins of several military words and phrases...
The humorous origins of several military words and phrases...
You’ve Got to be Kidding Me
Where the phrase, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me, came from. British OER Standards
Where the phrase, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me, came from. British OER Standards