Military folks look at things different than civilians, here are some humorous ways to tell if you're really out of the Army:
Time Required: N/A
Here's How:
- I call my boss Mike, his boss Larry, and his boss Bob.
- I'm now making full use of both arms for carrying items, and save loads of time not looking for my hat (once I realized I don't wear one anymore).
- One look at my new paycheck and I now know why they called it the L.E.S.(S)
- I can again use the "passive" voice in my writing without the grammar police smacking my knuckles.
- Forget to shave? Just tell 'em you're starting your beard that day! Haircut? Ha!
- Can walk to the right side of Mike, Larry, and Bob without violating some medieval concept of courtesy.
- Business lunches, golfing, and baseball season tickets are considered an essential part of work.
- The ability to run long distances quickly and do many push-ups or sit-ups is not confused for intelligence, leadership potential, or degree of motivation.
- Have determined brown T-shirts and OD Socks go with nothing in the real world.
- Can fly to New Zealand to see small flightless birds without having to get permission and a bunch of signatures on an DA Form 31.
- Can't remember the last time the shoes I wore to work got any mud on them.
- Office empty at 5:15 PM. Only people left behind are ex-military whose wives couldn't take the shock of seeing their spouses before 7:00PM.
- Discovered jumping out of a perfectly good plane on a business trip is a federal offense.
- If a cannon goes off at the office at 6:30 AM or 5:00 PM you call 911.
